Monday, 15 December 2008

Blood-Soaked Tampon

Bard cud!

Melody Wittgenstein & I have been instrumental in the realisation of Posie Rider's latest artistic vision, the short "Blood Soaked Tampon et. al." [sic]. Will Hirstory thank us, Melody? Ze certainly won't forget us!


When like Melody I am old I shall warp purple, and I shall say things like this: "No I zhan't give you my autograph, because zat would be a forgery!"

(Aren't you . . . ?)

"Zat is beside the point: a zignature without a document, by law, is a forgery." (I don't know if this is true or if it will be then, but I will have got it into my head that it is). "For all I know my pet you're MI5, wanting to entrap and blackmail me for my assistance in dealing with a Caliph who has fallen in love with me, or thinks he has. I hold anyhow that tact in introductions, and honest purchases, are the better foundations of an autograph collection, and approaches of the illuztriouz in the ztreetz, odiouz."

Also I will be continually found lifting things far too big and heavy and have them taken off me amid the most soothing of protestations. Ooh I can't wait. I'll get busy. Apparently crack helps the process along.

No comments: